Year end is the time for reminiscing, for pondering over the year going by and the many years that have gone by. We tend to look back and gauge our lives, our achievements, our many successes, our failures, our disappointments. There are some cheers, some tears and some embarrassing moments, things that we are proud of, somethings that we wish we could undo…

Standing at the brink of a topsy turvy 2021 (thanks to the whimsical COVID), as I look back, I can see many Mes jumping, prancing, laughing, crying, red-faced in embarrassment, holding their own and walking elegantly, waving back at me.  My many avatars, some I faintly connect with, some look so different, some seem silly now, some too uptight…

The little girl who wishes that the New Year would make her miraculously do better in her exams, there would less homework and her mom would buy her the dress that she wanted. A home baked caked or one from a local bakery and a fun-filled evening with parents, sisters and cousins is all she wants to ring in the New Year. Resolutions neatly penned in her journal to be good kid and study harder…

The sixteen year old, feels she’s all grownup, knows all that is to know about life and love. For the cute boy to look up at her is all that her heart desires. Her new year wishes are rosy dreams of a life perfect. She yearns for freedom, to move out of her parental nest, to go after her love and her ambitions…

The young ambitious girl, trying to make her mark in big city. All on her own, finding her little place, making ends meet with a meagre salary. She makes new friends, she finds new love, it’s not all rosy but she’s having fun. She works her hard, wishes for a better job. She aspires to reach greater heights, she dreams of finding true love, all will fall in place she naively thinks…

Her ambitions she can control, love she can’t, those embarrassing moments when she begs for love. She feels judged at times, lonely at times, many a times wallows in self-pity. Then on a new year she decides never to plead for love or vie for attention…

My more mature Avatar, toughened and hardened, takes each year as it comes and cares not for resolutions. In love with me I embrace life, in love with me I celebrate being in love. I relish all that I have accumulated over the years,  the good and the bad, that has made the New Me. I look ahead with open arms making room for my new Avatars…