Yes, that’s the task I assigned to myself in 2022 – to focus on me, to love me, to groom me, to chide me when needed, to enjoy me or my own company, to be enough for me. Quite a task, huh! Something we seldom venture into.
As human beings we are interdependent. We are social animals. We grow up learning to love each other, support each other, care for each other. We do things for duty; we do things for love. Sacrifice is a virtue that is hailed. And by focusing on me I am not giving away all that. It will help me focus on people and things that truly I love and who really love me.
Fortunately many have understood the virtue of loving oneself. That doesn’t make one selfish, it only helps us value ourselves and not be perturbed by people or happenings around us. Many things in life are not in our control, from the pandemic to the weather to the whims and fancies of the people we love. Often our love is not met with love, or not the way we would like it to be. People may not behave the way we would expect them to and that disturbs us immensely. We spend days ponder over what went wrong. We often feel worthless. Our life often depends on the promises or actions of certain people we love.
While being in love is great and I am by no means a cynic, it’s important not to depend on others for our happiness. We will be impacted by the behavior of our loved ones, but we should learn to calibrate our responses. Not an easy task at all. Can only be achieved when we learn to love and value ourselves, find things that make us happy, spend time with ourselves.
Sometimes we are so affected by things and people beyond us that we neglect the ones who really love us like our friends and family. Our work suffers and our duties. We are so busy feeling sorry for ourselves and playing the victim that we forget what is really important.
Certain recent events made me realize that while a lot is not in my control, I can become a better person by focusing on me and loving me:
- Spending time with me over a cup of coffee or a drink watching the evening give way to night
- Doing things I like to do – talking to my plants, reading, writing, listening to music or watching my favourite show
- Spending time with people who care about me
- Dreaming new dreams when old ones shatter
- Taking care of me 😊