Tag: Love story

Twin Tales of Love – by Riti Chakraborty

The girl in a yellow kurti

I think I talked to you for the first time in an abandoned staircase I had begun calling my ‘home’. You had stumbled across from the other part of the building. And I knew because I would see you every day; wearing the same black jeans paired with either a white or yellow kurti, your brown eyes reminding me of how gold shone against the sun, scanning each nook of the society we lived in, maybe in hopes of finding someone as solemn and as meek as you. Maybe you didn’t. I didn’t think I would fall head over heels for a girl wearing bindis in a world full of hoop earrings. And I certainly didn’t think she would, for me, too.

I distinctly remember our first conversation. You had followed a pair of pigeons in hopes of finding their babies. I was smoking at the other end of the staircase. You had no idea. Your first question to me was if I knew I would die if I smoked too many cigarettes. I had smiled coyly. It wasn’t a cigarette. I could see your jaws tense and cheeks go pink. You had realized you didn’t know who I was, and maybe felt as if you came on too strong, giving such opinions on matters that you ought not meddle in. You almost turned away to go, but I stopped you. Weren’t you going to look at the babies you had come for? 

You looked at me, as if you were looking right through my soul. “Maybe the babies were an excuse. Maybe I knew you come here at 7:00 pm everyday after all the kids go home.” 

I don’t think I had ever found someone that appealing. Maybe I had taken you to be shy, but in that moment, we stared at each other as if everything else around us had stopped, and the only thing we felt were the watches on our wrist ticking and the heartbeat in our chests pounding. It lasted for a split 5 minutes before I realized you were gone. Vanished off into thin air. I never saw you after that. 

Love in times of corona virus

Have you ever wandered what it would be like having a relationship with a person who you’ve never met? Sounds absurd, doesn’t it?

How can you love someone, when you don’t even know what their touch feels like?

You keep wandering if they smell like damp Earth on a fresh rainy evening, or like Daffodils in full bloom on a warm Spring day.

And before you know it, you start imaging how it will be when you first meet; will you shy away and shake hands and say hello, like formal lovers, or straight away run and melt in their arms, arms of a person you’ve wanted to sleep in after a long time.

Arms, face, eyes, only reminding you of the same person you talked to till 5 in the morning, when you couldn’t stay awake no more, and yet there was something that just kept, happening; talking about things you would rather not with anyone else.

So how do you go and fall in love with a person, a person who you’ve never met, a person emotionally so familiar yet physically so strange? 

When you hear other people talking about the love of their lives, holding hands while they walk, you cannot help but think about it for a split moment before you blurt ‘but we’ve had so many virtual movie dates, does that count?’ 

And you’re well aware of how it sounds like, but while for others love simply means bear hugs, french kisses and food in bed after sex, for you it means having shared playlists, random movie dates, and sending gifts through E-Commerce platforms, constantly playing IDK you Yet, by Alexander 23 because believe it or not, it’s actually been months you haven’t met, but trust me when I say you already know your first date won’t be an end.

Love and its old world charm

Love! We can talk endlessly about love. So much has been written about love. We have dedicated poems and songs to love. We are never tired of making movies on love and romance. From Pakeezah to Dilwale Duhlania Le Jayenge to Yeh Jawani Hai Diwani, from Breakfast at Tiffany’s to Pretty Woman to Titanic to Brokeback Mountain, a good love story has always won our heart.

Of course, love has changed with time. Expressions have changed, mediums have changed. Sometimes I feel love has become more complicated, or we have complicated it by incessantly swiping right and left. The digital platforms and the mobile apps that that have brought young people from across the world closer, may have also added to the confusion. The restlessness, the uncertainty, the indecisiveness, sometimes reluctance to commit. Though these emotions have always existed alongside love, the more articulate younger generation may have only brought them to the surface. They may have also given love a bold new expression.

Many of us though still miss the older times, we nostalgically look back to our simple college love stories. Anupriya Agarwal beautifully pens down the old world charm of love that she so misses.

Anupriya with Vibhor: when they just met

The charm of older times – falling in awe of someone over a cup of tea, or a glass of water is all gone. I remember in college, during college fests – admiring someone for his pink shirt – sheepishly discussing his smile with friends and then making a big deal if he came and said Hi, we will be in touch!

Your post, ‘Love me, love me not’ reminds me of good old times – the boy who only called out the colours that I was wearing during a tip tipi top game in school, or another one that I liked to go to the water cooler with for period breaks in school.

Image courtesy food.ndtv.com

This charm of falling in love over a little smile, a small conversation, a discussion with friends is forgotten these days! All we do is digitally bombard our thoughts, likes and dislikes. Love, in those days, wasn’t even anything to do with having relationships, but to just enjoy that moment of appreciation, when someone came said I love you and ran away never to meet again. It was a glass of water and a capsule that made two friends meet, a cup of chai was all that it took for two people to get married and rest well is history!

Thank you for taking me back to these lovely memories. Words will always swipe my heart away.

Love, Courtship, Dating, Tinder and more…

Love! The endearing emotion that survived centuries and generations. Once upon a time, men lost their kingdoms for love, forfeited their crown to be with the woman they loved. Battles were fought, cities were burnt down, lovers buried alive, yet love emerged triumphant! We embraced love, wooed our beloved, courted love, sometimes even knowing that it was doomed. So many beautiful poems and pieces of literature revolve around love and unrequited love.

As we move into the great 2020s, we continue to love and lose, we continue to woo. A lot however has changed with technology, with the world moving digital. Be it love or dating (modern equivalent to courtship), it has moved online. Instead of kingdoms and battles, young people often lose money to online frauds preying on love or loneliness of the generation now. First there were matrimonial sites, then came the dating apps which are now often referred to as ‘hook-up apps’. Technology is adding a new edge to these apps every day. So has love seized to exist, maybe it has in the way we once imagined it to be…?

I have once used these apps myself and was fortunate enough to meet somebody wonderful. But a lot has changed since then I am told. Stories of online dating that I hear about from my younger colleagues piqued my curiosity. 

I am talking to my 20-year-old colleague Riti Chakraborty on her experiences and views on love and dating.

  1. Why online? Don’t you meet young people offline?

It is not about being online. I like meeting new people in whichever way possible. Online dating sites streamline the whole process of meeting since I don’t go out often and socialise with other people, I don’t have the time.

  • Which are the popular dating apps now?

There are a lot of them. Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, Happn, OK cupid and the list goes on. My personal favourite is Hinge. Since it involves an extensive process of putting down prompts to simplify meeting new people, there is a lot of information available and it becomes easier to figure out various conversation starters.

  • Tell me about your experiences

I have had mixed experiences. I had not started online dating till a year back. In the beginning I had a hard time letting myself go and meet random, new people. However, some of the guys I had talked to, have remained friends till date. It got easier with time and I personally feel it has added to my self-confidence. Meeting new people, getting to know them has had an effect on me as a person and I feel I can talk easily to new people now.

  • I have heard about phrases like cat fishing and ghosting frequent associated with online dating. What do they really mean? Have you ever had such experience?

Online dating comes with its own set of random experiences. I have been ghosted, catfished, I have stood up boys, there is a lot to talk about. The one time I was catfished, I was supposed to meet a really cute guy and imagine my horror when a random person who looks vaguely like the boy I had been talking to, showed up! He couldn’t even speak proper English and was showing off his BMW for no reason. I stayed on for the first 15 minutes and had to put my perfectly healthy mother in the hospital (virtually) in front of him in order to get out of this debacle! It was a horrible end to my weekend.

  • Do you think it’s possible to find someone you want to be with through these sites?

I think anything can happen. People change all the time. I feel it is possible to meet someone I would want to be with through online dating. My last relationship started out on Instagram, so I can’t complain!

  • Sometimes online dating/chatting/sexting continue for months online. People are not interested in connecting offline. Why does that happen?

I honestly don’t know. It could be a number of things. Maybe they are insecure, or maybe they don’t want a physical relationship. It sounds absurd but many relationships also thrive virtually! I am not one of them, but I feel people who are not keen on meeting up physically just want someone to be there for them emotionally or mentally, and that’s the extent of their virtual relationship.

  • Your views on love and relationship.

I think the moment you declare ‘I have stopped looking for Love, I have stopped believing in Love, I do not want to be with anyone for a prolonged period of time’, love finds you. I have heard the same story from a number of my friends. The moment they stopped looking for love, they found someone worthwhile. On the other hand, relationships have become extremely flexible. There are polyamorous people who have multiple relationships at the same time, there are open relationships, there is the old school relationship, there are virtual relationships, relationships with 3 people at the same time, and so on and so forth. I think people just want their peace of mind, be it with one person or a few. The saying that ‘you cannot love 2 people at the same time’ is rapidly changing. My generation is more self-aware, more confident about themselves at the same time extremely dependent on other people. My own beliefs have changed over time, from being a one-man woman, to only wanting to date exclusively, to only talking and having fun with random people, I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I have not pinned my hopes down for a fairy-tale anymore.

  • Any advice, or word of caution for people seeking to date online

One should be extremely cautious of the people they talk to. Do as much background research as possible and check all their social media info. It becomes easy to spot catfishers and fake accounts once you get the hang of it. They have a certain way of talking, certain pictures etc that can be spotted with a little attention to detail. Online dating is fun and all but it can be a bit dangerous too. So a little caution and safety nets should always be at hand.

Love: Kal, Aaj aur Kal

Love is probably one of the most complex and endearing emotions! Love has been driving us since time immemorial. What haven’t we done for love? We have been silly, we have been brave, we have embarrassed ourselves, we have been petty, we have been generous, we have given it our all. No matter how badly we break our hearts, no matter how badly it hurts we manage to pick ourselves up. For, it is great to be in love, even if the subject of our love may not love us back with as much ardour. 

Falling in love! The first sight, the touch, the melody or that sound that stirs our emotion. When Romeo set eyes on Juliet or Ranjha on Heer, great love stories were made. Radha was drawn by the melody of Krishna’s flute. One image that made quite an impression on me is that of a young horse rider on a tempestuous night who seeks refuge in an old temple, encounters a beautiful maiden Tilottama there and loses his heart to her. This has been beautifully portrayed in the opening chapter of Durgeshnandini, an acclaimed Bengali historical romance by Bankim Chandra Chattopadhyay. While reading the novel as a teenager I wanted to be Tillomatta, to be loved and won over by the protagonist Jagat Singh.

The trepidation of falling in love has been so lyrically depicted by Rabindranath Tagore:

With the slightest touch and a few words / I sense the spring in my heart.

The addiction of Palash and Champa/ Leaves me reeling with the colors and tune of the spring.

Whatever comes close to my mind intermittently/ Paints the corners of it with dreams.

Swells the tune of anxiety whenever they drift far away/ I am left reeling all day with their sweet sounds like anklet rings.

From old temples and gardens, love moved to college campuses. In fifties and sixties, co-ed colleges helped cupid in scripting many a tales of love. The love stories then often started in a formal note as boys and girls rarely interacted with each other in those days. “During our college days girls would enter the class with the professor and would leave as soon as the professor walked out. We would address them as Miss,” recounts my dad. Yet so many of his friends married their college sweethearts.

Soon the magic of love melted away the formality and the stiffness. Love blossomed in college campuses and canteens. Office romance flourished. In college I would love to hang out in the canteen over coffee and samosas to be with the boy I fancied or just witness other love stories around me. Hanging out in the library together, walking hand in hand under starlit sky are some memories I will cherish forever. Though it’s those moments that matter now, the person seems to have faded in the background.

The bittersweet pangs of love! The wait for a letter or one brief phone call. Long distance calls were expensive then and telephone was kept in the drawing room ensuring that there was no privacy. Though the digital age away did away with letters and brought people closer in one sense, the pangs of love remain, or seem to have become more complicated.

Love sauntered from colleges to high schools, wandered around theatres, clubs and pubs, sometimes surprised us in lifts or corridors. One fine day, love decided to take the digital route. From college canteen and office parties dating moved online. Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and the rest brought the world to love’s feet. You could fall in love with anyone now, sitting in any corner of the world. Love letters gave way to chatting apps. At one time there were occasional tales of pen pals falling in love. Now there are so many tales of online love, many ending in heart breaks. Paradoxically enough, the digital world that brough us closer has also driven us apart. The endless chats and smart emojis come at the cost of real conversation. The digital persona often masks the real person creating a split.

When love came calling

A lyrical prose

When love came calling the young girl peeped out of her bedroom window and saw the tall high school boy pass by on his bicycle. She didn’t know his name, but she knew she loved him. “One day he will look at me, one day he will know how much I love him, and we will be together forever and forever,” she dreamt.

But one day soon the boy left the little town, never knowing the girl or her love for him. The girl would look out of the window for hours and sigh when her dream lover would never show up. For he may never know, but he was her first love and it saddened her little heart to know not where he was. Then one day the world beckoned, the young girl left her little town for a new city, for new friends, college and lure of unknown.

When love came calling, she looked up from the book she was reading in the college library into the eyes of her class topper. They walked hand in hand in the beautiful rocky campus, spent hours under the quiet stars. He was the first man she kissed on a beautiful moonlit night. “He’s your one and only love,” she heard the stars whisper. College was over soon, they kissed goodbye with a promise to meet again.

They did meet in a new city, with newer dreams. But while she dreamt of love forever, he dreamt of freedom, of love without shackles and soon he tossed her heart away. It hurt, she cried and cried for many nights. “I can never love again,” she thought.

When love came calling, she walked up to a young man outside a movie theatre. They watched a film together, enjoyed a quite meal. She thought this was love, he thought he liked her, but love was too complicated. Though he told her so, she kept hoping and dreaming and loving with all her heart. “We are so good together, what more can he want?”

She gave him love; he didn’t want love. Gentle he was and very charming, one day he gently tossed her heart away. “What did I do wrong? Why do my love stories forever end in tragedies?”, she asked herself while she cried her heart out. “I am done! Love is a mirage; it can’t lure me anymore.”

When love came calling, he smiled upon her outside a coffee shop. They talked, they laughed, they shared so much and this time it did feel different. He would love her like she has never been loved before, he would be engrossed in his own world and block her out like an unwanted call. He would come back each time though stronger than ever. Win her back, calm her down, soothe her with his love.

There was heartache and there was happiness, there was loneliness and there was feeling loved. There was a feeling of isolation in which her heart would get engulfed. There was utter joy when her heart would sing like a little bird. There were butterflies in the stomach, there was music, there was a promise, or so she thought. There was pain, there were tears and there was silence, silence that would make her numb.

The cycle of love and feeling unloved, of uncertainty, of assurance, just going round and round in circles, exhilarating and nauseating, should she take a step back? But love came calling and her hapless heart knew not whether to open the door to poignant love or shut herself out from the music, from the butterflies, the occasional flutter and walk the path alone holding her head high, masking her pain with her pride.

Sometimes…

 Sometimes I say too much
Sometimes I say too less
Sometimes I am too verbose
Sometimes I am at a loss of words
I never know what’s the right way to tell you ‘I love you so much’
 
I love you so much, sometimes it scares me
Sometimes it gives me strength
Sometimes it fills me with unbridled passion and happiness
Sometimes it makes me miserable
 
Loving you, wanting you, the fear of losing you…
Sometimes I am convinced things will work out for the best
And we will walk hand in hand into the ‘happily ever after’, wherever that elusive land is…